The ugly beautiful

The majority of people at some stage in their life will suffer from bad skin. Whether it may be a few small pimples or full on Acne. I don't refer to 'pimples' or 'the odd spot' as being Acne, as to me Acne doesn't just go away after a few days or a week. Acne stays and gets worse and worse until it then has to be treated by strong antibiotics.

As a child, I had perfect skin, like most children do. It all started round when I hit puberty, which was the age of 10. I remember getting this big red spot on the end of my nose which didn't go away for months and I mean MONTHS! It was horrible, I remember being so self concious about it that my mum put concealer on it to make me feel a little better. It all went downhill from that point.

Year 6 started and that's when the Acne started. I remember having to do Sex Education with my class which involved us watching a DVD all to do with puberty (periods, boy stuff, boobs, spots). A girl on the DVD started talking about her skin and how she had suffered from spots when she was younger. I felt my face burn up and even though, I don't remember anyone looking at me, I felt like the whole room was watching me, inspecting my face, trying to figure out what was going on with it. It was a horrible feeling and I was so relieved to be out of that class.

I never heard people saying stuff about my skin and it didn't affect me as I was just a child and didn't really think much of it. But a few people made comments to my friend which then lead to my friend telling the teacher which then lead to him having a word with me..I was confused at the time as I had no idea that people were saying stuff and it did upset me a little as it's never nice to know people are being horrible about you!

Year 6 finished and it was time to go up to Secondary School. Year 7 was probably the worst year of my life. My acne was bad and I mean bad! We had our photos taken for PE a few weeks into school and I didn't even look at mine, I was to embarrassed to see what my photo turned out like as I knew it would just look like a huge big spot! Again, I didn't get many comments made at me, obviously people said stuff as school kids are the most nasty people you will ever come across and if you don't look perfect, you'll get picked on! I remember being on science and the one boy was handing out our books. He walking past me singing 'Georgie is spotty, Georgie is spotty'. I ignored him and went about what I was doing, even though it absolutely killed me. I was sat in my next lesson trying not to think about what had just happened, fighting back the tears, wanting to tell the teacher. But I thought to myself, ' what's the point, I am better than this person, so what if I have spots on my face, so what if I'm not perfect and not a pretty person, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks or says about me'. And that was that!

Middle of Year 7, me and my mum decided it was time to go to the doctors to get my skin sorted out. I was put on a strong antibiotic which would help clear up the spots. It worked and I remember being so happy that my Acne was slowly getting better (I still had a long way to go).

Year 8 came and I'd been on several different antibiotics to help calm down my Acne but after a few months, they all stopped working so the doctor decided to refer to me a Dermatologist at one of my local hospitals. They decided that they were going to put me on the strongest drug out there for Acne. It has all types of side affects such as bad back, dry skin, depression, suicide thoughts etc. The drug was called Roacutane. The side affects didn't put me off one bit as I knew this was my only chance at getting better skin. Roacuntane is basically a drug that if used correctly and strong enough, it will stop Acne all together as it cuts off the bacteria that leads to Acne. The drug worked wonders on my skin..I even remember looking in the mirror and noticing that all the blackheads on my nose had gone! I was amazed at this! However, because I was only 13/14, I was one of the youngest people to ever go on this drug and because of my age, there was a high chance that it wouldn't stop by Acne for ever but it would just improve it!

Once I was off Roacutane, my doctor decided that I should go onto some more antibiotics and combine that with the Contraceptive pill called Dianette which is the best pill for people who suffer from bad skin. Till this day I am still on antibiotics and the pill combined.

Year 9 and 10 were great years for me, my skin was settled and I was starting to get to grips that YES I do have spots and NO they aren't going to go away (by this stage they were just any normal teenage girl spots) but in year 11 I started to notice that I had a lot of very pitted and deep Acne Scars on my Cheeks, Temple area and Forehead. However this didn't stop me enjoying my life, I had a great group of friends, I wouldn't say we were 'the popular group' but we had a lot of friends and socialised a lot so I think the fact that I had such a big group of friends helped with the fact that I didn't really get picked on at all at school which was a huge bonus for me! (I can stand up for myself). In November of 2009, I met my Boyfriend Ryan :-D it was the most nerve-racking moment for me as we had only seen photos of each other and obviously in my photos my Acne scars aren't really see able. I remember being on my way home from shopping and my mum was dropping me off at the train station. (I was meeting my friend who was with Ryan and his friend) but I just told my mum I was meeting my friend as I didn't want her to read anything into me meeting a boy! I was sat in the back of the car, palms sweating trying to put as much make up on as possible..I didn't want to turn up and him walk away with disgust...then the most embarrassing thing happened. I got off the train and went to put my ticket in the barrier..only to my horror that it refused my ticket and I nearly went flying over the barrier where I expect it to open! (always happens at the wrong time!).

So yeaaaaaaaah..3 years on and I'm still with Ryan. He never once judged me on my skin, never asked about it, never made me feel uncomfortable, he was just supportive!

December 2011 I went to the doctors to see about being referred about my Acne scars. It took a while as we tried to get it funded on the NHS but they said because it was 'cosmetics' they wouldn't fund it. My parents didn't mind as they were going to get me this treatment whether it was free or not as they knew how much it meant to me! Long story short I've had 4 sessions of Laser Treatment of my face and let me tell you now, its absolutely horrific! I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I had to wait 8 weeks in between treatments and then go back for the next one. My surgeon thought 4 would be enough..I went back in October for a check up and he wasn't as pleased he hoped he'd be. Myself and my family can see a huge difference and I am over the moon with how well my skin looks..it could be improved but I am happy as I can be! I go back in a few weeks time for my yearly check up .He has other treatments up his sleeve to see what else can improve it..

Soooooo..anyone who's reading this who's suffered for Acne or Acne Scars..your not alone. You're not the only person to suffer from it and you won't be the last. It is one of the worst things anyone can ever go through and I know that your confidences will be at rock bottom but you've just got to remember that there are drugs and treatments out there that can help you..I know that my skin will never be perfect, I will never have a perfect complexion and will always have to rely on make up to make my skin look as good as it can but I'm dealing with that and you can to!

Georgie

oxox

The ugly beautiful

Wednesday 6 March 2013

50 facts about me.

Dealing with Acne and Acne scars